


Children and Fools

by Three_Oaks



Category: Mission: Impossible (Movies)
Genre: Babysitting, Benthan Week 2019: Day 3, Coming Out, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Matchmaking, but actually eight days late
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-09-24 18:28:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20363074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Three_Oaks/pseuds/Three_Oaks
Summary: Benji can face any mission. He can break into the International Monetary Fund, or kidnap the Queen of England. But look after Ilsa's 6 year old niece, who's convinced that he and Ethan are a couple? That may be too much.





	Children and Fools

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for day 3 of Benthan week: Matchmaking. I’ve spent a week trying to make this make sense and it still doesn’t, so I though I’d just post it. Soft, fluffy and not very well thought out. You’ve been warned.

Benji really didn't know how he'd become roped into this. Sure, Ilsa had explicitly asked Ethan and him, and of course he'd never refuse to help her, but he was starting to regret that she hadn't wanted them to break into the International Monetary Fund, or kidnap the Queen of England. Those, he knew how to deal with: just missions, like any other. Although at least one of them might lead to his British citizenship being put into questions. But having to look after her 6-years old niece, who'd become convinced that he and Ethan were- he didn't even know how to put this- an item, was much, much worse.

Freya had been delighted to spend some time with her aunt Ilsa: she was, as she'd told them, the cool one. Which didn't surprise Benji one bit, and made him glad that he didn't have to compete with her for the attention of his own nephews. There were still young enough that the simple fact that he lived in the US made him interesting, and he dreaded the day this wouldn't be enough anymore. However, Ilsa had been called away for some very urgent, very life-or-death kind of thing: usually, that meant states secrets or defectors. Fun stuff, in any case. Which was why she'd asked them to keep her until she came back: sending her back to her mother wasn't an option, as she was currently stuck undercover for the Metropolitan Police. Benji had met her once, and he was pretty sure he'd been able to identify her even if he hadn't know they were sisters : she was just as formidable and terrifying as Ilsa. 

Which was maybe why he was currently running through the park, pretending to be a dinosaur. Well, actually, the explanation was much more complicated and involved at least one evil tree, a Wonder Woman action figurine and, for some reason, a rolling pin. But if he was supposed to be a dinosaur he'd be a good goddamn dinosaur.

"Ethan, my god, have you even ever seen Jurassic Park? Dinosaurs don't squeal!"

"I don't think Jurassic Park is a very good source, Benji. I read an article that said..."

"You're just embarrassed because you've never seen it, admit it."

"Alright, I've never watched Jurassic Park. But I'm still perfectly able to act like a dinosaur. I'm a great actor, all my teammates say so."

"How often exactly have you had to pretend being a dinosaur on a mission?" Benji asked. Maybe Ethan should try this next time they captured a target. He'd love to see the look on their face.

"Benji! Ethan! Stop talking, the tree's getting away!"

So, they ran behind Freya, half crouched, with his forearms extended in the best imitation of what was probably supposed to be a T-rex. 

After a few hours of running around, Ethan had valiantly slain the evil tree and declared it was time eat something and go home. Freya had started sitting on the ground, refusing to go after one of many nefarious pigeons, and generally had the air of a tired child. But Benji was also happy for the respite: he'd forgotten how much energy acting like a kid required. Well, at least he could skip cardio next time he trained; this had been more than enough.

"Are we going to yours and Ethan's home? Do you have a slide?", Freya asked.

"We're going to my house. Ethan has also one, so maybe we'll go there tomorrow if you want to."

"Does he have a slide? Why do you have two houses?"

"Because we do. We're friends, I told you already. It means that sometimes we do things... not together." Why did children ask so many questions?

"But aren't you sad when you do things not together?"

What the hell was he supposed to say? No, he didn't miss Ethan at all. He had a fully independent social life that didn't revolve around his best friend. Who was also his boss. And his crush. The kind of crush that you have for years, and that make you want to spend your life with someone, after kissing them senseless for a while. A normal crush. 

Ethan came back, carrying two waffles with an ungodly amount of whipped cream, and a sensible amount of napkins.

"There's for you, sweetie. And Benji, do you want to share this one?"

How could he say no? They ate quietly for a while, Ethan swift enough with his napkin to prevent Freya from making too much of a mess. Well, lightning-fast reflexes always had their use, even when you weren't escaping from an homicidal mob enforcer with a machine gun. 

"Benji's got cream on the face!"

"Oh, thanks for telling me. Where?"

"Just let Ethan kiss it away! My mom always does that with my dad."

"That's very sweet, Freya, but if you could tell me where..."

"Just left of your mouth, there's a bit caught in your beard." Was it his imagination, or was Ethan a bit red in the cheeks? Probably just the cold.

Once they'd all finished eating, they headed for Benji's flat, a few subway stations away. Their evening meal went smoothly, or at least as smoothly as any dinner with a six years old could be. Freya ate most of everything they put in her plate, even though the carrots took some convincing; they even developed what could have been described as an highly efficient good cop-bad cop routine, with Ethan threatening not to allow her to watch a movie afterwards, and him encouraging her every few bites. They did truly make a great team, whether at spying or at parenting. Afterwards, they put her to bed with little fuss. Ethan read her a story while Benji cleaned up, and once they were done they both settled on the couch. With a sigh, in Benji's case. There was a blank, for one second, before Benji felt the irrepressible need to fill the silence. 

"I really don't know how she got the idea that we were a... a thing. It's just funny, you know? "

"Do you think it's funny?" God, did Ethan think it wasn't? Benji had seen him look more comfortable while being interrogated by terrorists. Was he actually offended by the idea?

"Yeah, of course, in a silly kind of way. I mean, why would she think that?"

Ethan didn't answer. And, as usual when he felt awkward, some malevolent force beyond his control compelled Benji to keep talking. Which more often than not meant digging himself into an even deeper hole.

"For one, we're colleagues. Can you imagine what the IMF would do to us if we started dating? It'd be desk duty for life. And Will and Luther would never let us hear the end of it."

"Some agents date and just keep it quiet. And I'm sure Will and Luther would be happy for us if it were something we wanted."

What was Ethan getting to? Benji was feeling more confused by the second. He couldn't stand it, the jump his hear made in his chest every time Ethan seemed to be even vaguely hinting that he wasn't entirely repulsed at the idea of them as a couple. Because at some point, it would turn out to be a huge joke. 

"And we'd never fit together! Have you seen us side by side?"

"Am I... not your type? I know I'm a bit older, but..."

"What? Of course you're my type. Beyond the fact that you're probably the kindest, bravest person I know, you might have noticed that you're absolutely gorgeous, had you ever looked into a mirror. What I meant is that I'm not your type."

"How do you know that?"

"You're straight."

It wasn't even a question. It never had been; it didn't even matter how much he pined, or that Ethan was way out of his league, because Ethan was straight. The gears turned into his head, slowly. Very slowly.

"Wait, are you not straight?"

"Not exactly. Is that alright?"

"Of course! I'm gay, and you're... not straight, and we can be queer buddies!"

"Benji. I don't want to be your buddy."

For an instant, it felt like a chasm had opened into Benji's chest. Was that it? Had Ethan finally had enough of him? He tried taking a breath, that somehow stayed stuck in his throat. Could you actually choke on air? He tried again, and again, until he felt like he wasn't going to cry anymore, at least for now. 

Ethan hadn't said anything else. He was looking at Benji like... like he was scared. When was Ethan ever scared? Then, suddenly, the pieces started falling together. Ethan, who didn't find the idea of them dating funny. Who had all but said that Benji was his type. Who'd come out to him. And who now looked as if he might break if Benji said the wrong thing.

Very carefully, Benji raised his hand and put it on Ethan's. It was a slow motion, one which Ethan would certainly have been able to evade if he had wanted to. But he didn't.

"What do you want us to be, Ethan?"

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. Just... it's just that I have been thinking of you. Being your friend has made me happier than I thought I could ever be again, but sometimes... Sometimes, I hope that we could be more than that. I want us to be more than that."

Benji momentarily felt as if he had lost all control of his voice. And before he could figure out how to speak again, Ethan went on.

"Is that something that you might also want?" He looked a little less scared, a little more hopeful. Gently, Ethan turned his hand around and entwined their fingers. 

"Yes. Yes, I do. So, so much. Sorry. I might be going to cry, though." This was more of a sob than anything else, but Benji didn't think he could muster anything more coherent.

"That's alright," Ethan whispered, drawing him to his chest. Benji put his arms around Ethan's back, not entirely able to grasp what had happened just yet. But when he hugged him tight and nestled his head in the crook of Ethan's neck, he didn't pull back, or disappear like a dream once you woke up; he started gently carding his hand through Benji's hair, as if it was something that he'd wanted to do forever and just couldn't stop. His breath was warm against the skin of Benji's neck, his cheeks pressed against his throat. Were they wet, or was he imagining it?

"Ethan, are you crying too?" he asked, pulling back enough to see Ethan's face. 

"Just a little. Just... I can't really believe it yet. It's been so long, you have no idea."

"God, we're not very good at this, right?", Benji half sobbed, half laughed. "It takes us years to figure out, and then it might only be thanks to Freya. And now we're both crying, and we haven't even kissed yet!"

"Kiss me, then," Ethan said, softly. Benji complied.

***

"So, how did it go with Freya?", Ilsa asked, hugging her niece closely. They'd all gone to pick her up at the airport. It had been three days, and even though they had gone wonderfully, he couldn’t say he wasn’t happy at the perspective of having Ethan on his own.

"Great! She's a wonderful kid. Very... perceptive," Benji said. And, as Ilsa threw them a perplexed stare, Ethan reached out and took Benji's hand into his own.


End file.
